Guilt, shame, blame, deflection, play victim is like currency to them, a deadly game. The only way to win is not to play, walk away to live.

Story of narcissistic abuse that spanned nearly two decades with some estrangement. When we finally reunited, he saved the worst for last.

The devaluation & discard phase of narcissistic abuse was as bad as his rage. It cost me a couple of months of sobriety & nearly my life.

I learned that no matter how many promises they make or self-deprecating words they use, the narcissist has one setting: cruelty and abuse.

I wrote this poem months ago, feeling lost, unseen, breaking under the weight of an impossible archetype that regarded not my own humanity.