I really loved him, but I would learn that not only was love not enough but TL's form of love was more like the love of money...and love of ownership. He was thoughtless, as cold as a hurricane leaving destruction in its wake, unrelenting and mercilessly tearing apart hearts or lives.
He was careless with his words, with his true intent. He was careless and with more than me...
When I picked up the phone, his tone betrayed him. He promised that he was in the middle of a divorce and would leave the home he was still sharing with his wife. If I was thinking, I would have caught the huge chasms in that story, for it too would be found to be a lie. But I was about to get a devastating call that would make it all not matter.
"Hey, I can't leave. I'm afraid I won't be able to support myself." Was I thinking then, I'd have realized he never told his family, never told her, his wife, anything about what he was doing. He just cheated on her relentlessly. Of course, he couldn't leave. The white Suburban he drove she paid for. The house he lived in, she paid for. The only income he had that was steady was hers; he was dealing drugs, and I had no idea how stable that was and didn't want it in my life. He gave me no choice, from the very beginning. I was the unintentional other woman. But I had a choice now, even amid my heartbreak. I was about to make it known. He was about to find out what kind of woman I am.
He crushed my heart, bit by bit, like dry shortbread, crumbling like dust. I cleared my throat and fought back tears and the feeling that my knees would buckle. "Well, I won't be the other woman." The rest of the conversation was a blur. He was a liar, a coward and my heartbreak was deep enough to wade through. I don't even remember how the conversation ended.
But it did, and I headed to mama's house. I couldn't work that day. I was in seminary studying the world's religions but had been a mystic minister, paranormal investigator, and priestess in the Craft of the Wise for years. My mom is a Kaballistic priestess. We were very close and would often divine for each other. Her friend "Bridget" was there and gifted at astrology. I was so broken. They read him through me. Bridget read his chart and saw a clear inclination toward lying, infidelity, more. Nothing good, for me. I was crushed, even more than I already was, if that was even possible.
He was trouble. The pain seemed to take over. I would leave that night and go home. I needed to be alone. My heartbreak would be with me for a long time, uncountable months of pain, but that last time would not be the last time I would hear from him. His world was about to fall apart...
"Baby, you rolled in...without a warning
'Cause I was doing alright but just your sight/Had my heart stormin'
The moon went hiding
Stars quit shining
Thunder 'n lightning
You wrecked my whole world when you came/And hit me like a hurricane
Adapted from Luke Combs' "Hurricane"
P5 coming soon.