The road to justice is paved with pain, fear, and tears, as most of this year I spent trying to survive without life-saving meds that control my rare pancreatic disorder.
I had the best attorney, one who won a landmark case in this very arena, one relevant to the medication I require to live. It has been difficult to post here, for months. I lost my fight. Hearing her fight for me today gave me a reason to hold on. She was brilliant, powerful, graceful, and full of competent grit.
A later post will detail my account of what happened today at my 11 a.m. hearing. A ruling is pending. I have known much injustice in 51 years, few people have ever stood up for me, and I've known even fewer incidents of justice in those cases of injustice.
It meant the world to be in the same space with a woman attorney so committed to...essentially saving my life. This is so rare for me that I find myself stunned and moved beyond adequate expression.
When this ordeal started, I had no attorney and opted to take to cyberspace for help and exposure. When I later write the details about why I was actually subjected to this cruel, irresponsible federal action, I bet you will be as astounded and overwhelmed as I am today.
For now, I'm reveling in getting my first day in court, choked up at the long path that brought me here--I did everything I could to halt mass weight loss. I blended food; frozen fruit, honey, avocado, and nutritional food supplements in small amounts to try to support my survival. Eventually, the symptoms overcame me.
But I only dropped four sizes since the feds stopped paying for my meds around April because I fought so hard. That said, the cascading effects of high pain caused inflammation to flare throughout my body, my hips, back and overall joints preventing me from sleeping at all. This became an emergency, after five days of no sleep because there was literally no position that was not producing unbearable pain. The whole situation within a week of not taking this med rendered me top-end disabled and bedridden for the lion's share of this year.
I found new doctors to help with secondary pain, even if they couldn't truly help with my original problem, as nothing works as well and as broadly, with few-to-no side effects as the med the feds took away.
Many days and many nights I prayed for a fast death but watching my attorney fight for me today, I realized why those prayers were not and could not be answered, why I couldn't give up.
Justice itself is not finished, even if its wheels churn slowly. So, I will remember this day, and hold on a little longer.
Type soon, and certainly when the judge renders his ruling.
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